Ding dong.

I love that my ears ring all of the time. It makes hearing high-pitched noises exceptionally difficult - such as microwave dings, oven timers and smoke detectors. I like my food overcooked and my house burned to the ground.

So I managed to ruin my cross-stitch to the point that it needs to be tossed in the garbage without looking back. I could take the time to fix it but it wouldn't be worth it considering that would require more effort than was initially required to stitch the mofo together. It won't even suffice as a dust rag anymore because if I have to see this thing again, I will probably burst into tears. Emotional crafter. I poured my heart and soul into it for the last eight months. On and off. But enough that I was invested with the hopes of completing the task. No more. And I finally decided what to get for Phil for our anniversary. His gift requires me to construct the majority of it, which will inevitably become a hot mess. We'll see how that project goes.

I'm feeling maternal today except that I could probably kill something, thanks to the ruination of my cross-stitch. Off to the craft store I go.

I think I spoke too soon.

Maybe I shouldn't be looking forward to going back to Colorado. We just got our water bill and with no one there to be using any, our bill came to $49.05. The rates have gone up a little over $10 per month. As if $38.48 dollars/month for water wasn't ridiculous enough, they decided to hike the rates again. It's not like we were gone for years, it's only been five and a half months.

I'm going to boycott and go without.

Home Sweet Colorado.

I'm kind of over this whole being in North Carolina thing.

I adore being in the same place with my family and the majority of my friends, even if that means traveling back and forth between Durham, Fayetteville, and Wilmington. I love the humid climate and the fact that I can wear shorts every day of the week without worrying about the threat of snow looming in the immediate forecast. I am thrilled that I get to see my husband every weekend and sometimes during the week, depending on what his hectic schedule allows for.

I have not enjoyed living out of a suitcase for the better part of six months. I am ready to go back to my home and have my own bed, my own closet, my own yard. I desire to bake in my kitchen, launder clothes in my washing machine, vacuum my carpet, clean my bathroom, plant things in my yard, take Oliver on walks in my neighborhood, shop for groceries to stock my pantry, and leave a satisfying butt-print on my couch. If I want to strut around the house naked, I don't have to worry about offending anyone except for my neighbors if I choose to leave the blinds open. Which I do.

As much as I know I will miss this beautiful state as soon as I leave it behind, I am ready to be settled into the place that Phil and I have transformed into our home. If everything remains the same, I plan to leave N.C. the last week of May. While I am not looking forward to a cross-country drive that is going to wind me through the mountains, have me creeping through bumper-to-bumper traffic in St. Louis and probably give me a heart attack somewhere along the way, being 1613 miles away from here doesn't sound so bad.

I have an obsession.

It is called Victoria's Secret. Or shopping, whichever you prefer.

In the past week, I have racked up a ridiculous amount of items from my favorite lingerie store. If only they didn't sell so many other fabulous things in addition to bras and underwear, I might not be poor.

Yes. I really needed those seven bras. Umm, hello. The new Gorgeous? Makes my boobs look fab. Why would I not need that much cleavage? And at least I purchased a some practical colors like black and nude in addition to the bright blues, camouflage, multiple animal prints, and hot pink. All. Necessary.

Five t-shirts? All on sale. Hoodie? On sale. Yoga britches? On sale. Two for $26.00 tank tops? Sort of on sale. Free pair of underwear? Yes, please.

Go me. I got a free bag for spending so much money. Pat on the back? Probably not. Someone cut my credit card up now, please and thank you.

Also. I would like to complain about the Panthers. Carolina, you had the first draft pick. We didn't need a new quarterback yet you chose to use the number one pick for precisely that. A giant defensive guy might have been nice. Someone that could provide assistance to the quarterbacks that we already had also may have been wise. But no. Cam Newton better be the most amazing player in existence and get us to the Superbowl this year because otherwise, what a giant waste of a draft pick. The end.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Saturday, April 16, 2011. 2:30 P.M.

My nephew Josh was having his highly anticipated 5th birthday party the weekend before his actual birthday as it fell on Easter Sunday this year. The guests had all arrived including both sets of grandparents, family friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, a great aunt, and several friends (and their parents) from Josh's preschool class. The party was held at his aunt Natascha's house and decorated, superhero style, from top to bottom.

Unfortunately, it was overcast the entire day and we were hoping that the rain would hold off long enough for the kids to be able to play a few games outside. They managed to get one in before water started dribbling from the sky and everyone headed inside to play more games. Presents were then opened, followed up with the singing of happy birthday.

Right around 3:30 and right smack in the middle of our beautiful rendition of 'Happy Birthday dear Joshua,' the wind began blowing fiercely and I watched as pine trees across the street bent at unnatural angles. Several seconds and a couple of screams later, one of those very trees snapped in half and came down, bisecting the neighbors' house from the front left corner to the back right corner. Happy birthday continued to be sung off-key so the children had no idea what had just occurred and Phil's dad went sprinting across the street to check on the neighbors.

Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, the couple that lives in that house came to the door. In shock but nothing more, they managed to shakily gather up their two dogs and venture over to Phil's parent's house (next to Tasch's dwelling) for the next few hours. That enormous pine tree busted out windows, took down walls, chunks of roof, showering insulation and drywall throughout the house. Unbelievable that the two were okay but they were so fortunate.

The party continued in full force for another 30 minutes and guests began to head to their respective homes with the exception of family.

I called my parents to make sure everything was okay with their house in Durham. Because they essentially live in the middle of a forest, I was concerned about their safety. Dad answered, saying that everything was fine there - the storm had completely missed them but that Fayetteville had various tornado watches and warnings for the remainder of the day and into the evening.

Tornados, indeed. Fortunately, everyone we knew in the area was okay aside from damage to their homes. We had no idea that we were actually right smack in the tornado until we watched the news the next day. Pictures and video coverage showed homes with roofs missing, trees splayed on and in homes as well as scattered throughout yards, roads, and on vehicles, overturned tractor trailers, a local school completely demolished as well as the farmer's market, a hotel, strip-mall, and countless homes that were only a couple of miles away from where we had been that day. The winds were so strong that they ripped up pavement in a few of the neighborhoods. What had once been paved roads are now nothing but dirt paths. Madness.

Phil and I drove through our neighborhood that very day to check on our house. Thankfully, the only thing that seemed to be affected was a shingle that had flown away in the wind. Other neighbors were not so fortunate - garage doors were completely dented in from the strong winds, siding ripped off, fences torn down and thrown who knows where, sections of roof missing entirely so that you could see into the home. 

Raleigh, Dunn, Sanford, and various other cities saw similar devastation. Driving through Fayetteville and seeing so much damage was unreal - none of us could get over the fact that the tornado ripped through so close to home. Give me a hurricane any day.

I would've made an exceptional only child.

Seriously. I can't take your negative attitude anymore. It's bringing me down. I'm sorry that you are drowning in your misery but don't suffocate everyone else with your bullshit too.

If you have a problem with me, the fact that I have been fortunate enough to find the love of my life and marry him, or that I do not make financial contributions to our household, EFF OFF. I don't care. I am content with being a lump on the couch and so is Phil. And honestly, it isn't your business anyway. If I desire to sleep my days away, it is a matter that concerns the three members of my immediate family and that includes my dog. Your opinion is nowhere near as important.

I am irked that I have to constantly listen to your snide comments. Tired. Of. It. Tired of you. I'm pretty sure the little things that I do for my husband in our normal, healthy, loving relationship more than make up for the fact that I haven't been working for the past year. Being a military spouse? You wouldn't understand. You don't even know what it's like to be married because you haven't even managed that in your 30 years. The sacrifices, the compromising, the give and take, not knowing where he is or if he's safe, the anxiety of it all? I know he'll never take it for granted that I support him no matter what he chooses in this life with his career and that is more important than any job I could have just to bring a little more money to the table.

Quit being bitter and live your own life. I'm done with you and I'm moving on.

Mac ftw.

In case you weren't aware (and I wasn't which is shocking because I am obsessed with my beautiful MP3 player), if your iPod is formatted for a PC and you want to format it for your Mac all you have to do is...NOTHING!

Kind of saved my life.

Because an iPod is clearly an Apple product, it is happily compatible with your Mac simply by plugging it into your computer with the USB cord. I am relieved/thrilled/pleased as can be. I was envisioning hours of backing up music and fighting with Google to determine the easiest way to format Linus to my laptop.

That is simply one of the hundreds of reasons Macs are superior to Windows machines. I'd list some of the other reasons here but I don't have time. I must return to my position on the couch.