Ding dong.

I love that my ears ring all of the time. It makes hearing high-pitched noises exceptionally difficult - such as microwave dings, oven timers and smoke detectors. I like my food overcooked and my house burned to the ground.

So I managed to ruin my cross-stitch to the point that it needs to be tossed in the garbage without looking back. I could take the time to fix it but it wouldn't be worth it considering that would require more effort than was initially required to stitch the mofo together. It won't even suffice as a dust rag anymore because if I have to see this thing again, I will probably burst into tears. Emotional crafter. I poured my heart and soul into it for the last eight months. On and off. But enough that I was invested with the hopes of completing the task. No more. And I finally decided what to get for Phil for our anniversary. His gift requires me to construct the majority of it, which will inevitably become a hot mess. We'll see how that project goes.

I'm feeling maternal today except that I could probably kill something, thanks to the ruination of my cross-stitch. Off to the craft store I go.

I think I spoke too soon.

Maybe I shouldn't be looking forward to going back to Colorado. We just got our water bill and with no one there to be using any, our bill came to $49.05. The rates have gone up a little over $10 per month. As if $38.48 dollars/month for water wasn't ridiculous enough, they decided to hike the rates again. It's not like we were gone for years, it's only been five and a half months.

I'm going to boycott and go without.

Home Sweet Colorado.

I'm kind of over this whole being in North Carolina thing.

I adore being in the same place with my family and the majority of my friends, even if that means traveling back and forth between Durham, Fayetteville, and Wilmington. I love the humid climate and the fact that I can wear shorts every day of the week without worrying about the threat of snow looming in the immediate forecast. I am thrilled that I get to see my husband every weekend and sometimes during the week, depending on what his hectic schedule allows for.

I have not enjoyed living out of a suitcase for the better part of six months. I am ready to go back to my home and have my own bed, my own closet, my own yard. I desire to bake in my kitchen, launder clothes in my washing machine, vacuum my carpet, clean my bathroom, plant things in my yard, take Oliver on walks in my neighborhood, shop for groceries to stock my pantry, and leave a satisfying butt-print on my couch. If I want to strut around the house naked, I don't have to worry about offending anyone except for my neighbors if I choose to leave the blinds open. Which I do.

As much as I know I will miss this beautiful state as soon as I leave it behind, I am ready to be settled into the place that Phil and I have transformed into our home. If everything remains the same, I plan to leave N.C. the last week of May. While I am not looking forward to a cross-country drive that is going to wind me through the mountains, have me creeping through bumper-to-bumper traffic in St. Louis and probably give me a heart attack somewhere along the way, being 1613 miles away from here doesn't sound so bad.

I have an obsession.

It is called Victoria's Secret. Or shopping, whichever you prefer.

In the past week, I have racked up a ridiculous amount of items from my favorite lingerie store. If only they didn't sell so many other fabulous things in addition to bras and underwear, I might not be poor.

Yes. I really needed those seven bras. Umm, hello. The new Gorgeous? Makes my boobs look fab. Why would I not need that much cleavage? And at least I purchased a some practical colors like black and nude in addition to the bright blues, camouflage, multiple animal prints, and hot pink. All. Necessary.

Five t-shirts? All on sale. Hoodie? On sale. Yoga britches? On sale. Two for $26.00 tank tops? Sort of on sale. Free pair of underwear? Yes, please.

Go me. I got a free bag for spending so much money. Pat on the back? Probably not. Someone cut my credit card up now, please and thank you.

Also. I would like to complain about the Panthers. Carolina, you had the first draft pick. We didn't need a new quarterback yet you chose to use the number one pick for precisely that. A giant defensive guy might have been nice. Someone that could provide assistance to the quarterbacks that we already had also may have been wise. But no. Cam Newton better be the most amazing player in existence and get us to the Superbowl this year because otherwise, what a giant waste of a draft pick. The end.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Saturday, April 16, 2011. 2:30 P.M.

My nephew Josh was having his highly anticipated 5th birthday party the weekend before his actual birthday as it fell on Easter Sunday this year. The guests had all arrived including both sets of grandparents, family friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, a great aunt, and several friends (and their parents) from Josh's preschool class. The party was held at his aunt Natascha's house and decorated, superhero style, from top to bottom.

Unfortunately, it was overcast the entire day and we were hoping that the rain would hold off long enough for the kids to be able to play a few games outside. They managed to get one in before water started dribbling from the sky and everyone headed inside to play more games. Presents were then opened, followed up with the singing of happy birthday.

Right around 3:30 and right smack in the middle of our beautiful rendition of 'Happy Birthday dear Joshua,' the wind began blowing fiercely and I watched as pine trees across the street bent at unnatural angles. Several seconds and a couple of screams later, one of those very trees snapped in half and came down, bisecting the neighbors' house from the front left corner to the back right corner. Happy birthday continued to be sung off-key so the children had no idea what had just occurred and Phil's dad went sprinting across the street to check on the neighbors.

Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, the couple that lives in that house came to the door. In shock but nothing more, they managed to shakily gather up their two dogs and venture over to Phil's parent's house (next to Tasch's dwelling) for the next few hours. That enormous pine tree busted out windows, took down walls, chunks of roof, showering insulation and drywall throughout the house. Unbelievable that the two were okay but they were so fortunate.

The party continued in full force for another 30 minutes and guests began to head to their respective homes with the exception of family.

I called my parents to make sure everything was okay with their house in Durham. Because they essentially live in the middle of a forest, I was concerned about their safety. Dad answered, saying that everything was fine there - the storm had completely missed them but that Fayetteville had various tornado watches and warnings for the remainder of the day and into the evening.

Tornados, indeed. Fortunately, everyone we knew in the area was okay aside from damage to their homes. We had no idea that we were actually right smack in the tornado until we watched the news the next day. Pictures and video coverage showed homes with roofs missing, trees splayed on and in homes as well as scattered throughout yards, roads, and on vehicles, overturned tractor trailers, a local school completely demolished as well as the farmer's market, a hotel, strip-mall, and countless homes that were only a couple of miles away from where we had been that day. The winds were so strong that they ripped up pavement in a few of the neighborhoods. What had once been paved roads are now nothing but dirt paths. Madness.

Phil and I drove through our neighborhood that very day to check on our house. Thankfully, the only thing that seemed to be affected was a shingle that had flown away in the wind. Other neighbors were not so fortunate - garage doors were completely dented in from the strong winds, siding ripped off, fences torn down and thrown who knows where, sections of roof missing entirely so that you could see into the home. 

Raleigh, Dunn, Sanford, and various other cities saw similar devastation. Driving through Fayetteville and seeing so much damage was unreal - none of us could get over the fact that the tornado ripped through so close to home. Give me a hurricane any day.

I would've made an exceptional only child.

Seriously. I can't take your negative attitude anymore. It's bringing me down. I'm sorry that you are drowning in your misery but don't suffocate everyone else with your bullshit too.

If you have a problem with me, the fact that I have been fortunate enough to find the love of my life and marry him, or that I do not make financial contributions to our household, EFF OFF. I don't care. I am content with being a lump on the couch and so is Phil. And honestly, it isn't your business anyway. If I desire to sleep my days away, it is a matter that concerns the three members of my immediate family and that includes my dog. Your opinion is nowhere near as important.

I am irked that I have to constantly listen to your snide comments. Tired. Of. It. Tired of you. I'm pretty sure the little things that I do for my husband in our normal, healthy, loving relationship more than make up for the fact that I haven't been working for the past year. Being a military spouse? You wouldn't understand. You don't even know what it's like to be married because you haven't even managed that in your 30 years. The sacrifices, the compromising, the give and take, not knowing where he is or if he's safe, the anxiety of it all? I know he'll never take it for granted that I support him no matter what he chooses in this life with his career and that is more important than any job I could have just to bring a little more money to the table.

Quit being bitter and live your own life. I'm done with you and I'm moving on.

Mac ftw.

In case you weren't aware (and I wasn't which is shocking because I am obsessed with my beautiful MP3 player), if your iPod is formatted for a PC and you want to format it for your Mac all you have to do is...NOTHING!

Kind of saved my life.

Because an iPod is clearly an Apple product, it is happily compatible with your Mac simply by plugging it into your computer with the USB cord. I am relieved/thrilled/pleased as can be. I was envisioning hours of backing up music and fighting with Google to determine the easiest way to format Linus to my laptop.

That is simply one of the hundreds of reasons Macs are superior to Windows machines. I'd list some of the other reasons here but I don't have time. I must return to my position on the couch.

Your love, your love, your love. Is my drug.

WHERE ARE YOU, CAMERA CORD?! My life is incomplete without your presence and I haven't a clue as to where you could be lurking. Show yourself!

Umm. I think you're in North Carolina but I'm not entirely sure about that. I did a brief search there prior to vacating the area and traveling to Colorado but you were nowhere to be found. Upon my arrival to this miserable, dry state, I tore the house apart in a crazy search to locate you but to no avail. Here's to hoping you're hiding somewhere clever in NC and that I will find you promptly after my return tomorrow.

A couple of months ago, I received the absolutely amazing and indescribably awesome news that Phil was returning from his deployment two and a half months earlier than originally planned. There were no words to depict how elated I was and how much I was anticipating his arrival. He had no specific date, we just knew that it would be sometime at the end of February/beginning of March that he would be on his way back to the U.S. As the date grew closer, he had more and more details about his trip home but still couldn't provide me with many specifics. The evening of March 5th, I received a text from Phil stating that he was in Germany and would be flying into Atlanta around 6am the next morning. At that time, I was visiting Phil's family for the week and I shared the news with them. A couple of hours later, Vanessa approached me and asked if I wanted to drive down to Georgia and go find my love. Umm, duh.

An hour and a half later, Tasch, Ness, Josh and I were loaded into the Jeep and on our way to the Atlanta airport on a mission to locate the hubs with no more information regarding his flight than discussed above. A six hour car ride brought us to our destination at 2:15am, approximately 3 and 1/2 hours prior to when Phil's flight was scheduled to arrive. We set out, asking airport security, airline employees, and anyone who looked like they might be able to help us find him. No one could tell us anything. We had been afraid of that before leaving North Carolina but we were family on a mission and we were going to find our soldier.

After multiple coffees, cookies, muffins, and breakfast sandwiches later, several hours had passed but it wasn't quite 6am yet. We wandered toward a central part of the airport, hoping that someone at security would be able to assist us. Off to the right, I spied baggage claim and several men wearing ACU's (which we had seen all morning) gathering their luggage. Ness, Tasch, and Josh veered to the left to talk to someone at security. I shouted over to them that I wanted to go check out this area to the right that we had yet to explore. Two seconds later, I hear Ness say, "Is that my brother?!" Lurking behind a luggage carousel, I spy the most delicious looking man ever (who is not in uniform, btw) and I went sprinting across the airport to tackle him. Best day EVER. He was completely taken by surprise, thinking he was in the Fayetteville airport and shocked when he realized we drove down to Atlanta to see him for that hour. So, so unbelievable that we even found him in the maze that is the ATL airport. Thankful. Grateful.

Knowing that Phil wasn't going to be back in North Carolina until the end of March, I knew I had to fly out to Colorado and see him again. Having him in the country again and passing up the opportunity to spend quality time together kind of needed to not happen. So. I internet dealed it up, prayed that the dates would work, and purchased a plane ticket to Colorado Springs. I've been here for eight days and it's been wonderful. We haven't done anything crazy, out of the ordinary since we've been reunited but honestly? Simply being together, doing what we always do has been nothing short of glorious. Falling back into the normal swing of things with him? Best ever. I will never take these moments together for granted.

Tomorrow, I head back to North Carolina. Phil will be flying into Fayetteville on Saturday and I will be there that afternoon to stay for who knows how long. In between now and then? Cristin and I have plans to Star Wars it up in style, complete with C3PO fruity + alcohol infused beverages. Good times will be had.

Also. Our coffee pot tragically bit the dust a mere three days before I made it back to Colorado. Thank you, Target. The $9.24 black coffee pot that now resides in our kitchen is all sorts of wonderous and I feel good about spending less than ten bucks on a machine that I use on the daily. Target = love. I also own a $4.00 neon green iron, another clearance item from the same store. Not only is it beautiful, it steams like a dream. 'Tis love.

I am behind on my shit.

I'm in Fayetteville with the in-laws and a lot of dogs. Parents are in Florida with some old friends and golf clubs.

Had a new retainer made, was super excited to get said retainer. My teeth moved so much while they were without supervision for those couple of weeks yet my new retainer is entirely too loose and is doing nothing. I'm too lazy to deal with this crap and really, if I have to pay more to have this device remade, I'm going to weep and just deal with snaggles for the rest of my life.

Hubs is coming hooooome and I cannot wait! Two more days and he'll be floating around the United States. Eleven more days and I will be in Colorado. I hope he does not flee from my crooked teeth. Also. I wonder what it's like to have sex.

I canceled the insurance on my phone yesterday. Why? Because it's a total waste of money. Of course I say that and zee Droid tries to die on me today. Don't eff with me phone, I will smash you if need be.

Enrolled at William McKinley High today.

I am in Glee Obsess Mode.

Watched an unhealthy amount of season one yesterday. Proceeded to go to the store and buy all of the CDs. Spent the better part of today putting said music on my iPod and Googling facts about the show/cast. I would even go as far as saying I may have a problem.

I broke my retainer at some point during the night two evenings ago. I often wonder what I would do if the blasted thing were to break (elaborate fantasies play out in my mind involving an incident with a suitcase and a plane) because it's like 12 years old and I wear it 4-5 nights a week to keep my dentes straight. And then. It snaps. Thank you, Dr. Larry Howell, for seeing me on such notice. Even though you are merely a dentist and not an orthodontic expert, you agreed to meet with me and inspect my ancient straightening device and have given me hope that it will be repaired in a mere four days. Don't disappoint. I can't deal with the heartbreak or my teeth moving about unrestricted for an extended length of time.

Wilmington was swell. Forever 21 occurred. Bloody Mary's were present. The Super Bowl was viewed. T-shirts were made. Board games were played. Pretty sure that's all you need for a trip to excel.

Grannyma had hip replacement surgery today. All went well with the procedure and she's doing just fine, which is pleasing to hear. I was able to talk to her for a couple of minutes once she finally was placed in a room and despite the overwhelming amount of painkillers she was on, she managed to remember my decimated retainer and ask about it's wellbeing. Sweet, sweet woman. You have just had a new hip put in but you are more concerned about others and their way less serious issues. Love her.

MySpace is devil-spawn.

IT FROZE MY MAC. Why did I visit such a heathen site, you ask? Because I'm a moron and didn't know better. I was attempting to scope out the more than likely piece of shite band that will be performing at Wild Wing in Wilmington this weekend and my Google search directed me (unawares) to their poop-filled MySpace music page. It wrecked havoc on my beautiful computer and completely froze it and I had to push the power button it was super traumatic and I'm really angry because my computer is new I hope MySpace breaks dies burns explodes implodes crashes catches fire disintegrates falls of the face of the planet asap.

In happier news, I travel to Raleigh tomorrow. I am pronouncing it Sweatpant Day and mandating pajamaish clothing to occur. Heather and I are going to get our booze on. Win.

Then Saturday I'll be heading to Wilmington to do Super Bowl related things. Apparently I can get my taxes done for free at the senior center. Why, yes please. I shall be back in D-Town Thursday. Can I just say that I really hate it when people refer to Greenville as G-Vegas? Yeah.

Wheel of Fortune is calling my name. Thank you, non-ghetto Facebook.

It's snowing in Colorado. Suckas.

Pro Bowl = dumb. Super Bowl = going to be dumb. When did I start actually caring about this ridiculous sport? Half of my wardrobe consists of Carolina Panthers attire. What can I say, I look good in blue.

I heart Glee. Thank you, Netflix, for safely delivering all of the discs from the first part of the second season safely to my mailbox. I watched the episodes in an embarrassingly speedy manner and now anxiously await a new episode to air. I need some Thriller in my life, stat. Umm. I also downloaded an extensive selection of songs from the show. They now live on my iPod and sing to me often.

I think my blog deserves a picture.

...maybe tomorrow.

Katy Perry concert tickets are completely sold out for the Colorado show in July. If I desire to purchase them for a ridiculously inflated price on eBay or StubHub or one of those lovely sites, I can; however, I want to buy them for the cheapy amount of $39.00 from KP's website. So. That isn't going to happen. I really think that my life would be enriched by seeing Katy live and rocking out whilst inebriated. I shall scour websites and stalk tickets until I find some for an appropriate price. If someone would like to give me tickets, that would also be glorious.

Hate you Clay Matthews. Hate you Ben Roethajdabhbrger.

Kay. So yesterday was a ginormo fail for all things football related.

Green Bay stomped the Bears which yes, was expected but does not please me any more. If it weren't for Mr. Matthews and his raggedy ass, split-end infested, rat's nest mess of whatever it is that sits atop his head, I would have little to no reason for hating the Packers. Alas, he exists on the team and therefore, my hatred is strong.

Theeeen. Pittsburg whooped up on the Jets and I may have shed a tear or two. Or none. Regardless, it was tragic and quite uncool. I happened to be watching the game at the home of two Steeler's fans with lots of Steelers friends present so lots of smack-talk occurred.

Naturally the first year I've actively taken an interest in this sport, I have absolutely zero desire to watch the Super Bowl because I could give a crap less about the competing teams. Goal of the night February 6, 2011? Get smashed, watch high-budget commercials and be oblivious as to who wins the game.

I plan to make these Sorels last forever.

I finally purchased snow boots and they are the most glorious of glory-filled boots. At least, the pictures depict them as such and the reviews were similarly promising. Because they are made by the lovely company of Sorel, they should live longer than me unless...

A. I don't take care of the lining.
B. I wear them on the daily.
C. I get really drunk and vomit into them. This may be covered under A.

Thank you, Discover Card, for providing me with an additional 15% off of the retail price AND revoking those pesky taxes. You and I shall be friends forever.

Hello, pretty.

I hope they fit because I haven't yet had a chance to try the mofos on but I have confidence that they will. I've been eyeballing these ever since Victoria's Secret first introduced them to me on their website when they put their fall collection out. It was kind of love at first sight and it was totally mutual.

Next ridiculous warm weather purchase? Enormously overpriced winter jacket. North Face, here I come. I desire to zip my fleece into you/one of your toasty coats.

Why, hello there. It's so nice to meet you.

Today I decided that I'm going to be hip + with the times + trendy and get myself a blog. Let's see how long this mess lasts. The determining factor? Whether or not I can figure this out how to customize things in a reasonable amount of time. I give myself a month.